you won't believe what i think when I'm running

The running dialogue in my head while jogging is ridiculous ( I had written: The running dialogue in my head while running is ridiculous.  A little too much running in that sentence.)    The thoughts going through my mind can range from what I look like running to what I’m making for dinner.  I work out problems, imagine what I’ll write about, and try not to stop running.  

Here’s some thoughts my brain has with itself on a typical run.  Yes, I argue with myself constantly.  

• 10 steps into my run.  Ow ow owwww this does NOT feel good.  This hurts.  You ARE a wimp.  You’ve run 10 steps!!  You need to start thinking positive!  It’ll feel better after you run the first mile.
• Why am I doing this?  Because it’s healthy. Duh.  No one said it would be fun.  But I want to look amazing and healthy and young.  Uh huh.  Hahahaha.
• Ok this isn’t too bad.  I think I’m developing a rhythm (do you know how many times it took me to spell rhythm right?).  You have a rhythm alright.  SLOW.  You know most people could walk faster than you’re running right?
• I need to think about new blog topics.  You better.  Your readers are bored (yawn) with you not writing enough.  Think, think, think.  You’ve got nothin’.  Someone needs to get more creative...
• Is that a hill?  That looks like a hill.  I thought this town was flat.  This is definitely a hill and it. does. not. feel. good.  I could run around the track at the high school.  That would be fun.  Yeah right.  You know that’s boring as hell.  You’d last 20 minutes.
• This is relaxing.   Keep telling yourself that.  How relaxing is panting heavily, sweating your butt off, and having to move faster than strolling?  Relaxing is yoga. Or a glass of wine.  Or a nap.  All of which sound awesome right about now.
• I am sweating like crazy.  I am getting the toxins out.  Yeah and you looked like your peed your pants.  Not. hot.  Shoot.  I have to go to the store with sweaty pants.  I should go home and shower.  You know you’re going into Weis with wet pants.  Pull your jacket down low.  
• I am a sexy beast.  You are a beast, but not a sexy one.  Have you looked at yourself while running?  You’re a beast alright.
• I need to figure out what’s for dinner tonight.  You know you want to go out to eat.  Stop lying to yourself and decide what restaurant already.  I am COOKING at home tonight.  Uh huh. Hahahaha.
• I’ve got to clean the house and do laundry when I get home.  Who are you kidding?  You’re gonna get home, shower, and do anything but clean.  And you’re definitely not doing laundry.  
• It would feel soooo good to stop and walk right now.  I should walk.  Gawd you jerk.  You are the BIGGEST WIMP.  If you stop now you suck.  
• Only a mile more to go.  I’ve got this.  It is going to be the longest and most painful mile of your life.  You’re gonna hate every second and it’s gonna feel like forever.
• I’m done.  I did it!  I did it!  Barely.  When is it gonna get easier for you?  You’ve been doing this, like, forever.  You should be running marathons by now.  ***For the record, nothing over 5 miles is going to happen. 

Yes, all this nonsense goes through my head while running.  But I keep doing it.  I can honestly say I felt great after my run yesterday.  Then I made a kale salad for lunch.  (No it wasn’t that good.  Kale is great in soup or used as a garnish. Raw?  Ay yay yay.)  And I was pretty darn happy with myself.  

Tell me what you think about when running or exercising.  Count the minutes much?

Thanks for reading On My Own Nerves!  I love when you share me. :)