Have you ever opened your car door and were blown back by an odor? Like you didn't think you could get in the car because the stink would permeate your clothes and you'd walk around all day smelling like unknown funk? And you find yourself saying what IS that??
That's never happened to me. Well, it happened once. Ok ok. Maybe a few times. Not a lot. Let's just say it has happened on more than one occasion.
I have to sell my kids out here and say this NEVER happened to me or my car.... until I had kids. Ever find a bottle of curdled milk in your car? Or some other dairy product (hello yogurt?!) that doesn't fare well in 100 degree car temperatures? If you haven't, trust me when I say it smells horrible. One testing sniff and it will take hours to smell normally again. Even if you shoot Febreeze straight up your nose.
Now I'm supposedly well past the stage of bottles and dairy products being left in my car. But, I have to say the backseat of my truck is a storage mecca for all-things-Jenna. This includes videos, old cups, crackers, pens/markers/crayons, papers, toys, AND food. For the most part, the food doesn't "rot" and stink when left in the back seat. But it's still pretty darn gross. You're probably think I'm some type of piggish person with a messy car. It's not THAT bad. I just have kids. Here's a newsflash: Kids are messy. For real.
Back to my story.
Yesterday, I opened my truck door and had that whole "What IS that?" experience. I headed straight to the backseat to find the offending source. And I found nothing. There were some markers and empty cups but nothing that was the offending source of THE STINK.
I moved to the back of my car, which housed a pop up tent and two lawn chairs. THE STINK definitely seemed stronger in the back, although it was hard to tell where it was coming from. My daughter insisted it was the tent, so out came the tent. I sprayed some Scentsy air freshener throughout my car, which promptly mixed with THE STINK to make a lovely Clean Linen STINK scent. Great...... (I could liken it to using air freshener in the bathroom. But I won't.)
After driving a while in my car, I kinda got used to the smell. That is, until I got out and got back in. What IS that smell?
I ripped out the two "offending" lawn chairs, which I was certain HAD TO BE the smell. Yes! I am a smell destroyer. My car would now smell fresh.
BUT, this morning I headed out to my car to grab my ipod for my walk. (Side note: Awesome day for a walk) I opened my car door and, you guessed it, THE STINK was still there. If I could describe the smell to you, I would say it was like that of a dead animal. I don't have a lot of experiences with dead animals, but I'm pretty sure that one would smell just like the inside of my car. Maybe there's a deceased animal in my car? I'd have my dog check it out.
I opened all my windows to let my car air out. I grabbed my dog and we headed over to pick up J's friend to come hang out. I was talking to her friend's mom (B) and told her there is a smell in my car that we can't figure out. She said "I'm a good smeller. Let me try to find it." Well ok B! Have at it. Sniffing someone's putrid car is definitely not on my list of things I do for my friends, but apparently it's on B's. Her sniffer led us to the back of my car. She felt (and smelled) strongly that THE STINK was coming from there. At this point, the only thing in the back of my car was an umbrella, an pretty shower curtain (don't ask), and my dog.
B smelled the carpet in the back of my truck and whirled around and gagged in the opposite direction of the car. Nothing came out and I, of course, found this hysterically funny. Why is throwing up so amusing to me? (Except if it's my kid in the middle of the night. Or me.) She had located the source of the STINK. What was in my carpet?? I bent down to take a whiff and confirmed THE STINK was definitely coming from there. Yuck.
It wasn't over though. She pointed to a handle which leads to the secret compartment in the back of my car. (Now don't come and try to break in my car and get in my secret compartment, now that I'm telling you I have a secret compartment. All you'll get is a whole lot of STINK.)
B: What's in there?
B: Open it any way.
Me (opening the compartment): There's nothing in here. Oh, wait. What is wet? This is THE STINK!
I do not know what was wet in the compartment. I do know that my kids don't generally sit back there. The dog hangs back there a lot. She's trained but did she have an accident? That would be weird. She'd had to have peed and it dripped down through the cracks into the secret compartment. Was that even possible?
****I know that liquid dripping down into my secret compartment is possible. There was this one time that Greg made Shrimp Gumbo. We transported it to a friend's house and it sloshed out. We thought is just a little puddle on the back floor of the truck....but a couple of days later.....You guessed it. My car smelled like a dumpster. Once we figured out I had a secret compartment, we realized we'd been driving around with Seafood Gumbo for a week. I could pass out just thinking about the smell.
Come to think of it, this "secret compartment" business has really been nothing but trouble. I once lost a whole bunch of Christmas presents in there until Spring. Between that and THE STINK that is probably forever a part of my car, I'm pretty annoyed at my secret compartment.
I STILL do not know what was in my secret compartment. It will remain a mystery. Does my car still stink after being disinfected and cleaned? Yes, a little bit. If you'd like to smell for yourself, just let me know and I'll come pick you up.