Well I just lost a week of my life that I’ll never get back. Being one of those people that never gets the flu shot (are you one too?), I got cold-cocked with a nasty case that caught me by surprise. After almost a week of being sick and being able to accomplish nothing but thinking, I thought I’d share what was running through my mind as I lay in my bed.
- I was diagnosed with both A & B types of flu. Apparently it is very rare and unusual to get both types. I am rare and unusual. Or an overachiever.
- During the course of my illness I took a variety of medications to alleviate my discomfort (read: feeling of impending death). One of these medications was cough medicine. CherryTussin, to be specific. Many of you might recognize this as the one with codeine. I don’t mess around with plain old Robitussin. I head straight for the good stuff. If I have to take cough medicine, I want it to have some, ahem, medicinal value.
- Here’s a problem though . Cough medicine tastes like CRAP. I don‘t know anyone who actually likes it. I suppose there are people that do, but they’re bizarre. It tastes like cherry flavored rubbing alcohol. Aren’t we scientifically advanced enough to come up with a better flavor, say like, chocolate martini??? If you know me well, you know I’d also be down with some grapefruit crush cough syrup. Drug manufacturers! Call me!! I will be your special consultant regarding cough syrup flavors and tell you what the people really want. It ain’t cherry.
- Is there cough medicine that actually works, by the way? I mean, any time I’ve ever taken it, I continue to cough. The only reason for taking seems to be to get a little buzz. What’s more fun than a sick person? Why a sick, weirdly inebriated person. I remember one time in college, I got sick and had a horrible cough. I literally couldn’t stop coughing. I took like 2/3 of the bottle, passed out, and slept for 24 hours straight. Ever done that? Very strange to sleep through an entire day.
- Speaking of cherry, cause we kinda were.... Cherry cough drops, throat lozenges, zinc tablets? Oy vey. How about caramel?? Or coffee flavor?? (Think Werther’s. They’ve got it going on.) After ingesting about 126 of your cherry cough candies, my mouth is sore and never wants to taste cherry again.
- I also took Tamiflu. I guess it worked? Who knows. What I do know is that stuff makes me nauseous. So on top of coughing, aching, chills, fever, and extreme misery, I felt like throwing up. I think I’m getting better?
- The aftermath of constant hard coughing? Horrible, raw sore throat that nothing helped. And.... rock hard abs. I swear I feel like I did 2000 crunches and planks for 24 hours. My abs were SORE. Bikini reveal this summer.
- Let’s chat about how completely freaking boring being sick is. I took a daily nap while I was sick, but wasn’t blessed with a flu that had me sleeping 24 hours a day. The rest of the days I spent looking at the computer, reading (it’s hard to concentrate when you’re sick), and watching the Price is Right. I seriously don’t know how people watch tv all day. I thought I’d lose my mind after 1 1/2 hours. I tried. I really did. I was so bored. I couldn’t wait to be well so I could clean and do laundry. And I just wanted to be outside, breathing clean air. When I finally did get out I felt like I could finally breath again.
- Speaking of which, guess how much cleaning, laundry, and cooking got done with me out of commission. Exactly none. Yep. Now I do need to give G props for picking up Claire’s prescription (yup, she got the flu too), taking the girls to gymnastics, and getting us pizza for dinner. Other than that, the house was looking pretty shabby. Not to mention I had no clean pajamas (This flu made me sweat like crazy when I was sleeping. Like I woke up and thought I had been swimming in my pj’s. I guess that’s what a menipausal night sweat is like. So odd.)
- I also need to give props to Lily, Gus, and Charlotte, who were my constant companions during my illness. They were like “Mom, what is wrong with you?” And I said “I’m sick”. And they were like “Ok. Let’s snuggle and we’ll make you feel better.” Love my babies.
- The suckiest thing was not being able to hug my girls and Greg. I really, really tried to keep them from getting sick. (Jenna, the only one who was immunized, was the only one not to get sick.) I didn’t realize how much I love all over my kids and husband until I banned myself from doing so. It was so hard.
I can promise you one thing. Me and my entire family will be first in line to get the flu shot next year. You should too.
I really hope you all didn’t get sick. Judging from the partyin’ on Facebook, I’d say most of you were out and about having a great weekend. Thanks for reading my musings. Peace.