Do you realize it's been a MONTH since I've posted anything? And my last post wasn't a real post, 'cause it's just basically regurgitated Pinterest funny stuff. Too be honest with you, it felt like longer than a month since I posted. I feel like I haven't written in forever.
Well, I don't really know, to be perfectly honest. Ok, I sort of know. But only a little.
School started. Many of us jump for joy when the kidlets return to school and there's a little more time to do cooking, cleaning, and other activities alone. Being honest, I will tell you that I would fall into that category. Those last two weeks of summer, before school starts, aren't exactly a study in harmony and kumbaya. They are torture weeks where the kids pick, pick, pick and fight, fight, fight until you yell UNCLE, UNCLE, UNCLE!!!
Then they return to school. And the first day is great. You're productive and peaceful and feeling fly. No fights to break up. No one to pick up after. Zeennnnnnn.
But then that first week goes by and you start to feel a little lonely. Yeah, you have plenty to do but it's so weird without your offspring there. Parenting adds FLAVOR to your day.
So that's the first part of why this blogger hasn't been blogging. I had a little "identity crisis"? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Rather than write about my feelings I avoided my feelings and chose to be all private and quiet about my thoughts. Weird right?
When you have an identity crisis, you look at your life and determine if what you're doing is really what you want to be doing. And if you are who you want to be. Yes I got all deep and philisophical. And weird and sad. And probably a little crazy.
Funny (bizarre, not haha) side story that I was gonna turn into a blog post but decided not too.....
When I was contemplating the meaning of life, everything started breaking. Here is a list of items we've repaired in the past 2 months:
Garage Fridge/Freezer. Fuse kicked off while we were on vacation. Rancid meats and other nastiness. Goodbye $$$ from well-stocked fridge.
Hot Water Heater. (3 years old) decided it should have a new circuity panel thing. It took a month to come in so we had to keep manually resetting it. If we forgot, frigid water for all. Yes this was super annoying and way too expensive to repair. It was 3 years old for cryin' out loud.
Bathroom. Some part cracked, resulting in a bathtub leak, which resulted in a hole in my family room ceiling. It kind of looks like a skylight but without the pretty outdoors. Just a bunch of wood and plumbing stuff. Still waiting on that part. (What is with plumbing parts taking FOREVER to get?) So tile repairs, drywall repairs, and painting are in our future. So not fun.
Ice Maker. I really should have reverted to using ice cube trays when the "motor went up" on the ice maker. I could have bought 400 (not an exageration in any way) ice cube trays for what I paid for my new one. He was the nicest repairman ever. So when he asked if I wanted to replace the water filter I said "sure". Tack another $80 onto that bill. Geez that was expensive. But no ice? That's sucky.
So while everything was breaking and I was almost broke with repair costs, I was trying to figure out the next step in my life. Here's some decisions I made or contemplated:
- I quit (at the end of this year) my job with the Maryland Wedding Professionals Association. It was a fun job involving me doing newsletters, running meetings, and partying about Baltimore. But it was time for me to be done and focus on other things in my life.
- I started teaching Sunday School to preschoolers. I know. I'm just as surprised as you. But it's fun and a great way of serving in my church.
- I have continued to go to my awesome church (www.epiccommunitychurch.org) and have joined two small groups to learn more about God, church, and life.
- I decided to volunteer in the community more and have found a volunteer job at a Head Start program for a couple hours a week. I'm looking for more opportunities, including my children's school and other community outreach. I guess the old social worker in me is seeking ways to help others.
- I thought about getting a part time social work job. I still have my license. But then I didn't. And I'm ok with it.
- My night job is my children's taxi driver. No changes in that department. Just a lot of gas.
I guess after December, you could consider me a full-time stay at home mom. It's job that I am so blessed to be able to have. And I want to be good at it. Let's face it though. I can only clean and cook so much. So I need to get busy. BLOGGING, volunteering, and whatever else crosses my path.
So the blogging thing? I've sat down multiple times to write and my fingers just wouldn't work. I couldn't focus. I couldn't share or be funny. I was just blah and boring and lazy. Claire asked me many times, "why aren't you blogging?" I gave her excuse after excuse.... no material, tired, too much to do, and so on.... I just couldn't write. I had no motivation or desire to blog. I didn't want the "pressure" (self-imposed) of getting a post up. I didn't want to have-to do anything. Was I depressed? Maybe or probably.
I've gotten a few notes from readers of my blog saying "No pressure but I miss your blog". Or "What's up? Why aren't you posting?" It was great to know that I was missed. It gently prodded me to think "hey...maybe I really miss writing". And I have missed it. My brain still thinks about scenarios that I experience and how to write about them. I think about connecting with people through what I'm feeling, good or bad.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm back. I can't promise regular or even good posts. But they'll be real posts about real stuff. Like how we suffer when our kids suffer. Or my perspective on current issues. Or homemaker fun (Isn't "homemaker" so 50's?). Or whatever I feel like writing about.
Here's what you can do for me nervy people. Read by blog. Comment. Tell me what you want me to write about. I can be funny. I can be sad. But mostly I want to be relatable.
Thank you for being so patient with me. I love you all and can't wait to write more!