In case you've been living under a rock for the past couple of years, I'm gonna tell you what a selfie is.  It's when you take a picture of yourself and then share it with the world via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or some other social media.  Because everyone wants to see a picture of you.  Typically doing nothing OR something "cool".

It's stupid.  Now in case you think this post is about you personally, I will tell you it is not.  I see many many selfies every day on the social media I visit.  It ain't personal people.

I'm trying to figure out how this trend started. Seriously how did posting an endless amount of pictures of yourself become the thing to do?  Here's my thoughts on why people do this ridiculous self portraiture all the time.

• You've discovered that your phone camera has a feature to turn around to face you, making taking pictures of yourself completely easy.   Ever hit that button by accident while trying to take a picture of not-yourself?  Suddenly, YOU are staring back at you.   It's rather shocking.  Hopefully you figured out how to push the button again and have the camera facing out so you can commence taking pictures of your fabulous offspring or some flower or something.

No Friday Funnies today.  Sorry if you were looking forward to them.  They'll return next week.  Thought I'd tell you a mildly amusing story instead.

The other day Claire tells me she needs tennis shoes.  More specifically, she needs Vans. 

Me:  Deep breath.  Why does it have to be Vans?  (They don’t sell them at Payless.)

Claire:  It just does.   My Converse are too small.  I’m sick of Converse anyway.  I’ve been wearing them for years.  

Me:  Sigh.  Where does one buy Vans? 

Claire:  Journey’s and probably other places too. 

Me:  Sigh

After dinner one day this week we were in the vicinity of an outlet shoe store so I suggested we stop in to see if they have Vans.

Claire:  They won’t have Vans. 

Me:  Let’s just see.  We’re right here.

So we headed to the (crappy) outlet mall shoe store.

And guess what??!!!  They had Vans.  Score one for mama.

They had several choices: Hot pink, bright blue, and black. 

Cue the music:  Wa wa waaaaaaaaaaa.

Who doesn't like to start their Friday with a laugh?  Here's the best Pinterest pins I found this week.  Enjoy!

Gotta love fun grandparents

 Derrrr.  Every year.

 Truth

Not. my. feet.   

9 months ago I wrote a blog post called The Talk. You Know the One.  Check it out HERE. Last week we FINALLY had The Talk.  

I should explain that I've tried repeatedly to sit down with J (she's 10 and in 5th grade) and go over all-things-puberty and how babies are made.  Each time, she has pushed back and said she doesn't want to talk about it.  I allowed her space and figured we'd get to it when she was ready.  

Well ready came.  In the form of a letter from school stating they'd be talking about puberty soon.  Of course you'd have the option of not allowing your child to attend the class.  But what kid wants to be singled out to leave the room.  I knew I'd have to talk to her whether she was ready or not.  

So I told her we'd be having a two part discussion and it wasn't an option not to be there.  Ice cream was the bonus if she managed to appropriately handle our talk.   She said "Yay! Ok!" like I hadn't been fighting her to have The Talk for the past 9 months.  I guess I should have offered ice cream before?

My friend, Deb, over here at OnMyOwnNerves.com has recently been posting about changing her lifestyle and living more healthy.  Have you also decided you want to start eating healthy foods and maybe begin a workout routine.  Are you asking yourself “What now?”, “Where do I start?”?  Here's a step by step guide:

1.  Ask Yourself "Why?":  Ask yourself why you have decided to get in shape.  Do you have an upcoming event that has inspired you?  Have you realized that you are not as young as you once were and maybe you should start taking better care of yourself?  Are you tired all the time and think that it is possibly because of your current eating habits and lack of working out?  Whatever your reason for embarking on this journey, grab a pen and paper and write it down.  It is important to understand for yourself why you have chosen to make a change.  There will be days when you want to give up.  On those days, knowing why you started down this road in the first place will help you stay on track.

2.  Build a Meal Plan:  Build a meal plan with this simple guide:  How to Get Started with Healthy Eating - Easy!

Happy Friday ya'll!!!  Hope you've had a great week and are looking forward to a fab weekend.  Here's some super funny pins I found on Pinterest.  Enjoy!

 Next time I eat sushi....

I don't remember my graduation speaker.

 Poor Marco

My youngest daughter does not like thunderstorms.  At all.  In fact, she is quite fearful of them.  When she sees gray or cloudy skies, she worries there's a storm coming.  To the point that she doesn't like to leave for school if it looks like it might storm.  She's emphatic that she loves a rainy day.  But, thunderstorms?  No way.

If you ask her what scares her about storms, she'll tell you it's the tornados.  She swears it's not the thunderstorm that's the problem.  It's the possibility of a tornado.  I trace the link between thunderstorms and tornados back to about a year ago when we had a tornado warning, as a small tornado was spotted in our county.   This is extremely rare in our part of the country.  Our family raced to our basement and sat the storm out.  We did not panic.  We were not overly worried that a tornado would come down our street.  However, my little girl was terrified.  This experience embedded in her mind.  No matter how many times we tell her a tornado is unlikely to happen, she can't quite absorb it and feel safe.

It's funny how you never know what will stick in your child's mind as a scary, overwhelming, or life-changing experience.  In this instant, the possibility of ONE tornado impacted my sweet girl's life and she's having a hard time shaking it.  But to know that there are people that live this fear again and again and again, overwhelms me with sadness.  And to know that the fear of a tornado hitting is not only a fear, but a reality for people is beyond what I can imagine.

If you’ve been paying attention to On My Own Nerves, you know I’ve just completed a 5-day juice fast.  I got the idea after watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Amazon Instant Video.  (I’m confident that the movie has resulted in higher juicer sales for all the kitchen places that sell juicers.  I even saw a stack of the movies next to a bunch of juicers in a kitchen store.)  After watching the movie, as well as other movies (Hungry for Change, Food Inc, Supersize Me, and Forks Over Knives) and reading and researching, I determined a juice fast was right for me.  I would reboot, recharge, and refresh myself.  This would be the beginning of a new healthier me.

I started last Tuesday.  I had stocked up at Wegman’s (amazeballs, when it comes to grocery stores.  You can read about it HERE.) and had two refrigerators full of produce.  I had printed recipes of a whole bunch of juices, bought 2 juicing books, and surveyed friends about their favorite juices.  I was ready.

Want to know what fruits and veggies I used?  Kale, spinach, cucumbers, red cabbage, beets, arugula, pears, apples, oranges, ginger, limes, grapes, watermelon, blueberries, carrots, lemons, celery and more I can’t even remember.

Here’s what it felt like….days 1 through 5

Day 1

Did a wide variety of juices….all the colors of the rainbow. 

Morning:  Orange or red colored juice.

Mid Morning: 16oz Coconut Water (We’ll talk about this in a sec)

Lunch:  Green

Midafternoon:  Green or Red

Dinner:  Green

Dessert: Purple or orange

These are the approximate colors that Joe (Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead) suggested for a well-rounded juicing day.  The colors of the juice are achieved through the fruits and veggies you select.  He gives you a bunch of recipes on line and I also got some from books. 

How did I feel?  At first I felt energized and light.  Then I felt hungry.  I missed my coffee.  At least I could juice 5-6 times per day to try to keep the hunger abated.  It sort of helped. 

Let me tell you about coconut water.  You have to drink the plain, unflavored pure kind.  It’s super expensive.  Like $9 for 4 16oz ones.  I think that’s a lot.  But maybe you don’t.  Here’s the thing.  It tastes horrible.  Like dirty water.  I could taste a mild coconut flavor but the overall taste was yuck.  How was I going to drink 4 more of these?

Yep.  I made it through day 3 of the juice fast.  I felt 75% better than I did on day 2.  Yay!  Now it's time to laugh.  Here's your top pins from Pinterest this week!

Honey Badger.  Misunderstood.

So dumb it's funny.

Right?  Handing you my phone is not license to look thru it.

What does day 2 of a juice fast feel like?  Like a hangover.  Except not as good as a hangover 'cause you didn't exactly have a great time the night before.  

Woke up with a headache which was sucky.  I'm not a headache person.  It was definitely not the way I wanted to start my day.  I figured a walk with the dog and some fresh air would clear up my pseudo hangover.  It didn't.

When I got back extreme nausea set in.  I kept telling myself,  "This is the toxins leaving my body.  This will pass."  I felt like throwing up (maybe I drank the beet juice too fast?) but I didn't.   After I layed down for an hour, most of the nausea subsided.   But I had a stomachache and the headache remained.  

I did it!  For one day I drank only freshly juiced veggies and fruit.  I'm now on day 2.  I've eaten a wide variety of stuff...you could say colorful.  Here's a few things I've learned in 24 hours.

Morning isn't so bad.  Got up and drank two cups of hot lemon water.  I'd prefer coffee but the water isn't bad.  I've got this.

First juice of the day: Carrot, Orange, Beet.  Not horrible.  Beets taste like dirt though.  I even washed and peeled most of it.  Apparently not enough though 'cause it still tasted like dirt.

Mid-morning.  I'm supposed to drink 16oz of unflavored coconut water.  I've never had it before. It tastes like a$$.  Seriously, like dirty water.  I chilled it and drank it though a straw as fast as I could.  Horr-i-ble.  I have to do this 4 more times?  Oy vey.  And do you know how much it costs?  OMG.  4 waters are $9.  It will not be in my regular diet plan after this fast.  

Can't totally remember my lunch juice but think it was spinach, celery, cucumber, and more. I was starving.  It was good.  I'm liking celery and cukes a lot.  They make a lot of juice.

Started to feel yucky in the afternoon.  Decided to take a nap.  Woke up 2 hours later. Wow that was productive.  

I am about to embark on a health adventure that I can scarcely believe.  If you would have told me two weeks ago that I would do this, I would have been convinced you'd been smoking some wacky weed or had lost your eva lovin' mind.  

But alas, this is all true and about to happen to me.  I'm going on a 5 day juice fast.  Yes I just said juice and fast.  In the same sentence.  I have never fasted in my life.  Never.  I mean, that's nuts right?  Who conciously makes the decision to not eat "regular" food for longer than an hour?  Well me.  I can hardly believe it myself.  I guess you'd like a bit of an explanation for this kookiness.  So here you go. 

Hi Everyone.  Here's some super hilarious Pinterest pins that I found this week.  Love to laugh!

True.  Not necessarily funny.  But true.

Ya'll know I adore him.  I guess this isn't funny either.  Ha!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I tend to get excited (read: obsessed) about lots of stuff (cameras, house decorating, reading, and so on).  I'm happy to say I'm obsessed for the first time in my life with healthy food.  I can't get enought information via book, video, or internet (or you guys!) about juicing, organic stuff, and all-things-healthy.  

Let me say, that until now, all this kind of stuff ANNOYED me.  I considered it silly chatter that was of little interest to me.  Suddenly, A LIGHTNING BOLT HAS STRUCK and I want (no, I HAVE) to be healthy.  

Yesterday I ate more fruits and veggies than I have on any other day in my life via juicing and regular meals.  I posted this on Facebook and, naturally, everyone worried about me pooping myself.  I worry about that too.... but I'm ok people!  

I woke up this morning energized and HAPPY.  I can't tell you the last time I felt this way.  

First let me say that this is not becoming a food or health blog.  I'm just sharing my journey trying to make some improvements in my eating and overall health.  So if you're getting all excited that "this blog is talking about food and stuff all the time", don't worry.  I have other things to say.  

But first I have to tell you what I did yesterday.  With Christie.  She's along for the ride of healthy living.  Let me back up for a sec.  Monday night we watched Healthy for Change. Holy cow.  Awesome movie.  Which, of course, leads to more movies and books and blogs and websites and OMG!!!  I'm overwhelmed with health.  No worries.  I'm not jumping off the deep end.  I'm simply going to make some changes.  We'll see how that goes.  Then maybe I'll make more changes!

So here's what I did yesterday.  A story in pictures.....  (Don't get excited.  I only took three pictures.  And they aren't good.)